My Story--cont

Hi

I had made one friend since moving to Washington in the fall of 2015.  Her name was Elmira—liked to be called El— and we hiked together.  We had hiked maybe, three or four times so far and each time for several hours and so we had time to talk and get to know each other a little. I liked her and enjoyed her company—but still, she wasn’t near what I would call a close friend and that’s what I came to understand was missing.  I know now,  that also, I needed more time with people and friends than the couple times a month El and I were able to hike together.  

Close friends and family—those types of relationships,  I left behind in Michigan were what I was missing and feeling.  I had thought —assumed, it would be easy to make new friends and be able to keep my relationships going back in Michigan.   Accepted, that it would not be the same but we would still remain close.   I began to see—and experience,  that  I was not going to be able to maintain my relationships with friends and family back in Michigan well and second, it was going to take longer and be harder to make new friends in Washington than I had imagined.  Yes, I had moved to Washington not knowing anyone nor have family there—-no one!  Moving back to Michigan, I didn’t see as an option.  I began to wonder, just how long it was going to take before I would enjoy close friends again,  I then, determined I would find a way to shorten the time it normally takes to find and make friends.

Furthermore, while reading several books on communication and relationships I became aware that I had missed out on a lot of the benefits and pleasures of having people and friendships in my  life—I had basically been a loner!  That floored me—hit me in the face one day—and I just started crying.   One reason for my  strong emotional reaction was influenced by what I knew then of the value of people and friends in our lives.  Also, I could see some of the reasons my life had been the way it was because of a lack of spending time with friends and feeling a sense of belonging.  I had moved away from being a “loner” some,  but still was not able to easily talk to people and enjoy friends like I now wanted.

Upon realizing this and accepting it, I resolved to change myself and my life so I could begin enjoying people and friends in Washington.  I would increase my efforts to meet new people and even chose the number of  “good friends” I would have by the end of 2016 in Washington—-six. This was at the beginning of 2016 and so gave myself a year.   Fortunately for me, I love to learn and study a subject.  I reviewed or read for the first time,  fifteen books on communication and relationships.  Also, I was able to refer back to what had learned in my Communications Research class while pursuing a Communications degree less than a decade ago.  I had spent the entire semester learning all I could about Social Phobia.  Soon, I had several things to do regarding communication,  and actions I could take that would enable me to enjoy people and friends more.  (to be continued)

take care,

Darrol